The first set of teeth, or milk-teeth as they are called, are twenty in number; they usually appear in pairs, and those of the lower jaw generally precede the corresponding ones of the upper. The first of the milk-teeth is generally cut about the sixth or seventh month, and the last of the set at various periods from the twentieth to the thirtieth months. Thus the whole period occupied by the first dentition may be estimated at from a year and a half to two years. The process varies, however, in different individuals, both as to its whole duration, and as to the periods and order in which the teeth make their appearance. It is unnecessary, however, to add more upon this point.
Their developement is a natural process. It is too frequently, however, rendered a painful and difficult one, by errors in the management of the regimen and health of the infant, previously to the coming of the teeth, and during the process itself.
Thus, chiefly in consequence of injudicious management, it is made the most critical period of childhood. Not that I believe the extent of mortality fairly traceable to it, is by any means so great as has been stated; for it is rated as high as one sixth of all the children who undergo it. Still, no one doubts that first dentition is frequently a period of great danger to the infant. It therefore becomes a very important question to an anxious and affectionate mother, how the dangers and difficulties of teething can in any degree be diminished, or, if possible, altogether prevented. A few hints upon this subject, then, may be useful. I shall consider, first, the management of the infant, when teething is accomplished without difficulty; and, secondly, the management of the infant when it is attended with difficulty.
Management of the infant when teething is without difficulty. ------------------------------------------------------------
In the child of a healthy constitution, which has been properly, that is, naturally, fed, upon the milk of its mother alone, the symptoms attending teething will be of the mildest kind, and the management of the infant most simple and easy.
Symptoms:- The symptoms of natural dentition (which this may be fairly called) are, an increased flow of saliva, with swelling and heat of the gums, and occasionally flushing of the cheeks. The child frequently thrusts its fingers, or any thing within its grasp, into its mouth. Its thirst is increased, and it takes the breast more frequently, though, from the tender state of the gums, for shorter periods than usual. It is fretful and restless; and sudden fits of crying and occasional starting from sleep, with a slight tendency to vomiting, and even looseness of the bowels, are not uncommon. Many of these symptoms often precede the appearance of the tooth by several weeks, and indicate that what is called "breeding the teeth" is going on. In such cases, the symptoms disappear in a few days, to recur again when the tooth approaches the surface of the gum.
Treatment:- The management of the infant in this case is very simple, and seldom calls for the interference of the medical attendant. The child ought to be much in the open air, and well exercised: the bowels should be kept freely open with castor oil; and be always gently relaxed at this time. Cold sponging employed daily, and the surface of the body rubbed dry with as rough a flannel as the delicate skin of the child will bear; friction being very useful. The breast should be given often, but not for long at a time; the thirst will thus be allayed, the gums kept moist and relaxed, and their irritation soothed, without the stomach being overloaded. The mother must also carefully attend, at this time, to her own health and diet, and avoid all stimulant food or drinks.
From the moment dentition begins, pressure on the gums will be found to be agreeable to the child, by numbing the sensibility and dulling the pain. For this purpose coral is usually employed, or a piece of orris-root, or scraped liquorice root; a flat ivory ring, however, is far safer and better, for there is no danger of its being thrust into the eyes or nose. Gentle friction of the gums, also, by the finger of the nurse, is pleasing to the infant; and, as it seems to have some effect in allaying irritation, may be frequently resorted to. In France, it is very much the practice to dip the liquorice-root, and other substances, into honey, or powdered sugar-candy; and in Germany, a small bag, containing a mixture of sugar and spices, is given to the infant to suck, whenever it is fretful and uneasy during teething. The constant use, however, of sweet and stimulating ingredients must do injury to the stomach, and renders their employment very objectionable.
วันจันทร์ที่ 26 ตุลาคม พ.ศ. 2552
Happy diaper for your Baby
Do you know what is in the diapers you put on your baby? Unfortunately most people don't know what is in the diapers they purchase for their small children. Since they are widely accepted as the diapering standard, they use them without ever considering alternatives. After all, cloth diapers are such a pain to take care of, and kids just wet through them, right?
Actually cloth diapers have come a long way. There are several options available for cloth diapering and there are several reasons to use them as well. Take a look at the following:
Cloth diapers are better for baby's skin. Disposable diapers are loaded with chemicals that can irritate baby's tender skin, Cloth diapers often sport natural fibers like cotton that are soothing to the skin and very breathable. They get fewer diaper rashes, which means less discomfort for baby and less crying.
Disposable diapers are also filled with toxic allergens. Your baby might even be allergic to disposable diapers. There are many things in them that can cause allergic reactions, such as problems breathing and rashes. If your child is having these problems you should consider cloth diapers.
Cloth diapers are better for the environment and your pocketbook. Cloth diapers are reusable from child to child, which means less waste going into our already overstuffed landfills. You should figure that in the years one child is diapered you will go through on average, 2500 to 3000 diapers. With cloth diapers you could easily get by with using only 3-4 dozen diapers and those diapers can be used on one or more subsequent children.
When you are done with your cloth diapers you can sell them too at usually 50-75% of the retail price of new ones. That means you can get back 3/4 the cost of using cloth diapers. Even after you factor in water, time and detergent you are still winning out compared to the $20 a week you spend on diapers.
Washing diapers is very easy too. It should not amount to more than a load or two of extra laundry each week. Wet diapers can be tossed into a diaper pail to wait for cleaning and diapers with loose stools can be shaken out over the toilet before they too are stored before washing. Odor issues can be controlled by placing a tissue with a few drops of essential oil at the bottom of the diaper pail or sprinkling the pail with baking soda.
Cloth diapers have also greatly evolved in terms of style and ease of use. There are many options available for cloth diapers including some all-in-one (AIO) varieties that closely resemble disposable diapers as far as ease of use goes. There are pocket diapers for parents who want to customize absorbency and there are one-size diapers for parents who want a diaper that will grow with their children. There are also diapers available to use for night time, and diapers to use while potty training.
You can also make your own cloth diapers with several patterns available online. That reduces the cost even more. It really is easier to use cloth diapers than you might think. Before you check them off as an option, give them a shot, you might really like the benefits and how happy your baby is in them.
Actually cloth diapers have come a long way. There are several options available for cloth diapering and there are several reasons to use them as well. Take a look at the following:
Cloth diapers are better for baby's skin. Disposable diapers are loaded with chemicals that can irritate baby's tender skin, Cloth diapers often sport natural fibers like cotton that are soothing to the skin and very breathable. They get fewer diaper rashes, which means less discomfort for baby and less crying.
Disposable diapers are also filled with toxic allergens. Your baby might even be allergic to disposable diapers. There are many things in them that can cause allergic reactions, such as problems breathing and rashes. If your child is having these problems you should consider cloth diapers.
Cloth diapers are better for the environment and your pocketbook. Cloth diapers are reusable from child to child, which means less waste going into our already overstuffed landfills. You should figure that in the years one child is diapered you will go through on average, 2500 to 3000 diapers. With cloth diapers you could easily get by with using only 3-4 dozen diapers and those diapers can be used on one or more subsequent children.
When you are done with your cloth diapers you can sell them too at usually 50-75% of the retail price of new ones. That means you can get back 3/4 the cost of using cloth diapers. Even after you factor in water, time and detergent you are still winning out compared to the $20 a week you spend on diapers.
Washing diapers is very easy too. It should not amount to more than a load or two of extra laundry each week. Wet diapers can be tossed into a diaper pail to wait for cleaning and diapers with loose stools can be shaken out over the toilet before they too are stored before washing. Odor issues can be controlled by placing a tissue with a few drops of essential oil at the bottom of the diaper pail or sprinkling the pail with baking soda.
Cloth diapers have also greatly evolved in terms of style and ease of use. There are many options available for cloth diapers including some all-in-one (AIO) varieties that closely resemble disposable diapers as far as ease of use goes. There are pocket diapers for parents who want to customize absorbency and there are one-size diapers for parents who want a diaper that will grow with their children. There are also diapers available to use for night time, and diapers to use while potty training.
You can also make your own cloth diapers with several patterns available online. That reduces the cost even more. It really is easier to use cloth diapers than you might think. Before you check them off as an option, give them a shot, you might really like the benefits and how happy your baby is in them.
Your son crying
Communication - that's what a baby's crying is for. This sweet thing that suddenly turn into a fit of tears is just craving for your sweeter attention. All cultures in the world nod to this pattern all infants are accustomed to.
A baby cries the most during his or her first three months. Though the amount of crying steadily increase, the crying time period may vary from an hour to most of the day and this could still be considered within normal range. Like, whoah, right? Babies are also known as howling tear factories.
Some thought that a baby cries more during the afternoon accounting it to the anxiousness of the mother or the stressed mood of the father after going home from work. But the most accepted assumption now is that babies have this automatic screening ability they use to shut off all the noise that may stimulate some response from them so they could get enough rest. But in the long run, this filter weakens and totally disappears during the approximate age of six weeks. This, then, make a baby very sensitive to the external factors such as noise, movements, etc. And these generally elicit a reaction from a baby and how best could he or she respond but only through crying.
There are many reasons why a baby succumbs to crying. Deciphering these reasons is the major feat a parent must surmount. Here are some of the things your sweetsome baby is making you understand through crying.
Hunger. Yes, your attention-hungry baby is craving to let you know that his tummy is grumbling. This is the most common reason for a baby to cry, especially, during his early months. The pattern of the hunger howl could be characterized as being persistent, demanding and almost rhythmical. But that rhythm is not at any rate close to becoming musical, of course.
Boredom. What can I say? Aren't these babies just plain spoiled? Crying because of boredom, errr, I'd find that a bit more twisted or weird if it's with an adult that is. But babies are really built like this. Crying is their way of telling you, "Hey get me a life here!" Aside from attention and food, consequently, babies need a lot of stimulation. And when they don't get this, there you get your waaaaaaahhhhhh!!! The trick is to pick the baby up and play with him. This move may be frowned upon by some because of its amounting to spoiling the baby. But it is important to know that stimulation is also one of the major necessities of an infant and it won't hurt to provide him with some while in his growing age. This boredom cry is said to be also rhythmical and full of sobs and moans.
Discomfort. Pain is another precursor of the baby's crying. Who won't cry when in pain, right? Babies are not Major Paynes to endure the most excruciating discomfort they could undergo. They are little, vulnerable beings that need to be attended to when injured or when in an inconvenient situation. This cry could be more persistent, louder and more demanding. Shrieking and screaming, those are words that better describe the crying pattern roused by pain.
A baby cries the most during his or her first three months. Though the amount of crying steadily increase, the crying time period may vary from an hour to most of the day and this could still be considered within normal range. Like, whoah, right? Babies are also known as howling tear factories.
Some thought that a baby cries more during the afternoon accounting it to the anxiousness of the mother or the stressed mood of the father after going home from work. But the most accepted assumption now is that babies have this automatic screening ability they use to shut off all the noise that may stimulate some response from them so they could get enough rest. But in the long run, this filter weakens and totally disappears during the approximate age of six weeks. This, then, make a baby very sensitive to the external factors such as noise, movements, etc. And these generally elicit a reaction from a baby and how best could he or she respond but only through crying.
There are many reasons why a baby succumbs to crying. Deciphering these reasons is the major feat a parent must surmount. Here are some of the things your sweetsome baby is making you understand through crying.
Hunger. Yes, your attention-hungry baby is craving to let you know that his tummy is grumbling. This is the most common reason for a baby to cry, especially, during his early months. The pattern of the hunger howl could be characterized as being persistent, demanding and almost rhythmical. But that rhythm is not at any rate close to becoming musical, of course.
Boredom. What can I say? Aren't these babies just plain spoiled? Crying because of boredom, errr, I'd find that a bit more twisted or weird if it's with an adult that is. But babies are really built like this. Crying is their way of telling you, "Hey get me a life here!" Aside from attention and food, consequently, babies need a lot of stimulation. And when they don't get this, there you get your waaaaaaahhhhhh!!! The trick is to pick the baby up and play with him. This move may be frowned upon by some because of its amounting to spoiling the baby. But it is important to know that stimulation is also one of the major necessities of an infant and it won't hurt to provide him with some while in his growing age. This boredom cry is said to be also rhythmical and full of sobs and moans.
Discomfort. Pain is another precursor of the baby's crying. Who won't cry when in pain, right? Babies are not Major Paynes to endure the most excruciating discomfort they could undergo. They are little, vulnerable beings that need to be attended to when injured or when in an inconvenient situation. This cry could be more persistent, louder and more demanding. Shrieking and screaming, those are words that better describe the crying pattern roused by pain.
วันพฤหัสบดีที่ 1 ตุลาคม พ.ศ. 2552
Basics for Care your Babys
I looked at my baby. She looked back at me with her large, trusting brown eyes. She was tiny and helpless and completely dependent on me and on my ability to care for her. As panic settled in, I reached for a few trusted parenting books and started reading.
By the time I had my second baby, two years later, I was already a pro. Here are my tips for taking care of your baby's basic needs:
Enjoy your baby!
Before I dive into technicalities, this is really the key to properly taking care of your baby. If you allow yourself to enjoy her, caring for your baby will come naturally. After all, there's so much to enjoy. Babies are small and soft and cute. They smell great and when their tiny fist closes around your finger, it feels so good!
Yes, taking care of a baby is a lot of hard work, and you are also sleep deprived which makes things even more difficult, but do remember to enjoy the good aspects of parenting a baby.
Touching
Touch your baby a lot and hold her as often as she wants to be held. Babies thrive on touch and on human attention. Use skin-to-skin contact often, and hold your baby close to you. Remember: you can't spoil a baby. Unlike older children, babies are incapable of manipulating you. The rare exception is that some babies get over-stimulated easily and don't like to be touched. That's OK too. Just follow your baby's cues.
Holding and Head Support
When you lift your newborn from his crib, and when you hold him, always support his head and neck. Young babies can't hold their head up by themselves and need your support.
Caring for the Umbilical Cord
The cord stump should fall off within one to three weeks after birth. When you change your baby's diaper, gently clean the cord with a cotton ball soaked with alcohol.
Crying
Always respond to your baby's cries. Yes, babies cry a lot - it's the only way they have to communicate their needs at this point. As I said above, babies can't use crying to manipulate you, so don't worry about spoiling your baby by responding to his cries. Click here to read more about why babies cry so much and what you can do to calm them down.
Feeding
Newborns usually eat every three to four hours. You should listen to your baby's cues, though - some babies are hungry every two hours, especially breastfed babies, since breast milk is easier to digest.
Let your baby tell you when he's done eating - he will usually signal being full by turning away from the nipple or from the bottle. Healthy babies, who don't east solid food yet, rarely need water in addition to milk.
Burping
Babies tend to swallow air while feeding and need to be burped after each meal. Getting your baby to burp may prove to be a challenge though! There are several burping techniques. The one that worked best for us was to hold the baby upright, with her head against our shoulder, and gently pat her back.
Sleeping
You can expect your newborn to sleep a lot - 16 to 20 hours a day. However, you should also expect her to wake up a lot during the night. Waking up every 2-3 hours during the night is perfectly normal for very young babies.
To prevent suffocation, place your baby to sleep on a firm, flat mattress and avoid soft, fluffy items in the crib while baby sleeps. To minimize the risk of SIDS, healthy infants should be put to sleep on their backs.
Bathing
Until the umbilical cord falls off, avoid a full bath - simply sponge bathe your baby. Once the cord falls off, there's still no need for a daily bath - every other day is plenty. I used to bathe my babies in the bathroom sink. I never bothered with buying a baby bath. If you're alone in the house, do remember to gather everything you will need close to you. You must never leave baby unattended in the bathtub.
Diaper Changing
It's important to change wet or soiled diapers immediately. While there's a valid argument that with today's highly absorbent disposable diapers you can go a little longer between changing wet diapers, I always felt better when changing my babies' diapers often.
When changing a baby girl's soiled diaper, it's important to wipe from front to back. It's a good idea to use gentle, fragrance-and-alcohol-free baby wipes.
Nail Trimming
To prevent baby from scratching herself, trim nails frequently with blunt edged small scissors, cutting the nails straight across.
Taking care of your baby's basic needs is a lot of hard work. In fact, it's endless work. But it's not a thankless job. On the contrary: your baby will reward you by blossoming into a wonderful, happy, secure human being.
Taking care of your baby may feel awkward at first, but before you know it, it will feel easy and natural. Very soon, you will be a pro too!
By the time I had my second baby, two years later, I was already a pro. Here are my tips for taking care of your baby's basic needs:
Enjoy your baby!
Before I dive into technicalities, this is really the key to properly taking care of your baby. If you allow yourself to enjoy her, caring for your baby will come naturally. After all, there's so much to enjoy. Babies are small and soft and cute. They smell great and when their tiny fist closes around your finger, it feels so good!
Yes, taking care of a baby is a lot of hard work, and you are also sleep deprived which makes things even more difficult, but do remember to enjoy the good aspects of parenting a baby.
Touching
Touch your baby a lot and hold her as often as she wants to be held. Babies thrive on touch and on human attention. Use skin-to-skin contact often, and hold your baby close to you. Remember: you can't spoil a baby. Unlike older children, babies are incapable of manipulating you. The rare exception is that some babies get over-stimulated easily and don't like to be touched. That's OK too. Just follow your baby's cues.
Holding and Head Support
When you lift your newborn from his crib, and when you hold him, always support his head and neck. Young babies can't hold their head up by themselves and need your support.
Caring for the Umbilical Cord
The cord stump should fall off within one to three weeks after birth. When you change your baby's diaper, gently clean the cord with a cotton ball soaked with alcohol.
Crying
Always respond to your baby's cries. Yes, babies cry a lot - it's the only way they have to communicate their needs at this point. As I said above, babies can't use crying to manipulate you, so don't worry about spoiling your baby by responding to his cries. Click here to read more about why babies cry so much and what you can do to calm them down.
Feeding
Newborns usually eat every three to four hours. You should listen to your baby's cues, though - some babies are hungry every two hours, especially breastfed babies, since breast milk is easier to digest.
Let your baby tell you when he's done eating - he will usually signal being full by turning away from the nipple or from the bottle. Healthy babies, who don't east solid food yet, rarely need water in addition to milk.
Burping
Babies tend to swallow air while feeding and need to be burped after each meal. Getting your baby to burp may prove to be a challenge though! There are several burping techniques. The one that worked best for us was to hold the baby upright, with her head against our shoulder, and gently pat her back.
Sleeping
You can expect your newborn to sleep a lot - 16 to 20 hours a day. However, you should also expect her to wake up a lot during the night. Waking up every 2-3 hours during the night is perfectly normal for very young babies.
To prevent suffocation, place your baby to sleep on a firm, flat mattress and avoid soft, fluffy items in the crib while baby sleeps. To minimize the risk of SIDS, healthy infants should be put to sleep on their backs.
Bathing
Until the umbilical cord falls off, avoid a full bath - simply sponge bathe your baby. Once the cord falls off, there's still no need for a daily bath - every other day is plenty. I used to bathe my babies in the bathroom sink. I never bothered with buying a baby bath. If you're alone in the house, do remember to gather everything you will need close to you. You must never leave baby unattended in the bathtub.
Diaper Changing
It's important to change wet or soiled diapers immediately. While there's a valid argument that with today's highly absorbent disposable diapers you can go a little longer between changing wet diapers, I always felt better when changing my babies' diapers often.
When changing a baby girl's soiled diaper, it's important to wipe from front to back. It's a good idea to use gentle, fragrance-and-alcohol-free baby wipes.
Nail Trimming
To prevent baby from scratching herself, trim nails frequently with blunt edged small scissors, cutting the nails straight across.
Taking care of your baby's basic needs is a lot of hard work. In fact, it's endless work. But it's not a thankless job. On the contrary: your baby will reward you by blossoming into a wonderful, happy, secure human being.
Taking care of your baby may feel awkward at first, but before you know it, it will feel easy and natural. Very soon, you will be a pro too!
Can you stop your baby crying in 30 second?
Have you ever been at a restaurant, and your child wanted what your other child got? Your other child would not share, and all of a sudden your 2 year old started screaming? No matter what you tried he or she would not calm down. How about you were working on something important, and all of sudden your child began screaming? The kids fought over a toy, and one of them was screaming their head off. If you have ever felt this way, I am here to tell you that I have found the solution to your problem.
Being a mother of 3 children, I have felt this way many times, and always wished I could have a solution to make the child quiet in 30 seconds or less. That way everyone can move on, and I don't need to get stressed, nor do they need to be stressed, or crying.
My first question to all parents is why do children cry? There are many reasons a child cries. I will list briefly what some of those reasons are: hunger, fear, someone hurt them, they want something, or just trying to get attention. Have you ever been in a situation where you have a 2-7 year old and something happens, and they begin crying so loud? Crying uncontrollably? It's as if someone was trying to kidnap them, yet nothing has happened to them. To the child it feels as if their world is falling apart. Yet most parents feels that ignoring the problem is the solution, but it's not. I have stated what some doctor's have to say about that, after extensive research being done on children crying."
"One study showed infants who experienced persistent crying episodes were 10 times more likely to have ADHD as a child, along with poor school performance and antisocial behavior. The researchers concluded these findings may be due to the lack of responsive attitude of the parents toward their babies." (Wolke, D, et al, Persistent Infant Crying and Hyperactivity Problems in Middle Childhood, Pediatrics, 2002; 109:1054-1060.)
"Dr. Brazy at Duke University and Ludington-Hoe and colleagues at Case Western University showed in 2 separate studies how prolonged crying in infants causes increased blood pressure in the brain, elevates stress hormones, obstructs blood from draining out of the brain, and decreases oxygenation to the brain. They concluded that caregivers should answer cries swiftly, consistently, and comprehensively." (J pediatrics 1988 Brazy, J E. Mar 112 (3): 457-61. Duke University. Ludington-Hoe SM, Case Western U, Neonatal Network 2002 Mar; 21(2): 29-36)
Due to all of these factors and many more, I decided to find a solution to the problem that many parents face.
What is the new technique? Well, reading many books in this field, studying child psychology, and going to many seminars still sometimes doesn't equip you for what real life throws at you. At amazement one day, I told myself I had to figure out how to quiet these kids quickly, and effectively. For I am a stay at home who home schools, and works from home. I couldn't have them crying all day, if I was teaching the other ones, or if I started cleaning. Yet, I don't have the time to sit with each one for 10-15 minutes at a time. That alone took most of my time. That's when I tested and tried my new strategy. I thought if it worked for me, than it could work on anyone. Are you ready?
Basically, anytime a child begins to cry for whatever reason it is:
1. You take a deep breath and then bring them close to you, and then go through these exercises with them. 2. You show them how to take a deep breath. As they take one, take another one, and then another one. I usually take 4-5 deep breaths with them, and then I say ok, now we will do it this way. 3. I start to blow out faster and faster and laugh while I am doing it. They love this part the most. They blow out and smile and laugh with me. It changes their whole mood, and they no longer are crying. 4. Once they have calmed down, then I sit them on my lap and ask them what happened. By this time, their smiling and they have to use a normal tone, not a whining tone to tell me what happened. 5. After they tell me, then I help them figure out what went wrong, and what not to do again, to get that type of reaction. They agree, and it's finally over. I break the pattern they are in, with a whole new pattern, which helps them calm themselves down.
I have used this technique not only on my children, but also my neighbor's children, nieces and nephews. Their ages ranged from 2-7 years old. It has worked every time for me. It just takes some patience, time and practice. You will see eventually the kids will be doing these techniques to other kids they see behaving the way they did. My son and daughter sometimes teach me these techniques if I am sad and crying. It really works for adults as well as children. You just need 30 seconds to implement it, and then they're on their way.
Once you can get your child to learn these new habits, you then teach them that crying and whining doesn't really help them get what they want. If they want something, they need to ask for it kindly, and if it is something the parent thinks the child needs they will get it, if it is not, then they need to understand the parent knows best. The more the parent is able to explain to the child, the better the child understands. Sometimes it takes 10 - 20 times of repetition, but eventually it does soak in. It is also at this time, that I speak to the other child about how they treated this one. If there is two or three of them, then once this child is relaxed, I go over and tell the other ones, what they did was wrong, and that' not how we should treat this situation. I then give them an example of how I would treat this situation. That way they are aware that there is many ways to deal with a situation. I want the kids to put that in their memory banks of their brains, and use it when this situation or another similar one arises.
A few more quotes on why crying is not the right thing for a child to carry on
* "Leaving a baby to cry evokes physiological responses that increase stress hormones. Crying infants experience an increase in heart rate, body temperature and blood pressure. These reactions are likely to result in overheating and, along with vomiting due to extreme distress, could pose a potential risk of SIDS in vulnerable infants. There may also be longer-term emotional effects. There is compelling evidence that increased levels of stress hormones may cause permanent changes in the stress responses of the infant's developing brain. These changes then affect memory, attention, and emotion, and can trigger an elevated response to stress throughout life, including a predisposition to later anxiety and depressive disorders." Pinky McKay
Pinky McKay is the mother of five, an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) and a Certified Infant Massage Instructor.
* English psychotherapist, Sue Gerhardt, author of Why Love Matters: How Affection Shapes a Baby's Brain, " explains that when a baby is upset, the hypothalamus produces cortisol. In normal amounts cortisol is fine, but if a baby is exposed for too long or too often to stressful situations (such as being left to cry) its brain becomes flooded with cortisol and it will then either over- or under-produce cortisol whenever the child is exposed to stress. Too much cortisol is linked to depression and fearfulness; too little to emotional detachment and aggression."
At this time I would like to go into a summary of how all of this works:
* First, take a deep breath your self. * Next, bring the crying child over and teach them how to take deep breaths, tell them to follow you. Take about 4-5 Deep Breaths. * Third, have them blow out back to back for another 10 seconds. By this time, the kid should be laughing out loud with you. * Fourth, now you have broken their pattern of crying into being happy. * Ask what happened, and help them understand.
This is vital to break the pattern. Once the pattern is broken with something better taking its place then it won't be long when, you'll notice they cry less and less. As they age they will realize that crying should be left for something really painful and not every two minutes. As parents and educators we need to teach them to learn there are different styles and ways to do things. We need them to be able to help them calm themselves down, and them to formulate that habit as they grow up. To be confident, and handle any situation that comes at them with a different approach. This approach will lower their stress and build their confidence. The less they cry, and the more they are loved, the more stability these kids will have with their own emotions.
Being a mother of 3 children, I have felt this way many times, and always wished I could have a solution to make the child quiet in 30 seconds or less. That way everyone can move on, and I don't need to get stressed, nor do they need to be stressed, or crying.
My first question to all parents is why do children cry? There are many reasons a child cries. I will list briefly what some of those reasons are: hunger, fear, someone hurt them, they want something, or just trying to get attention. Have you ever been in a situation where you have a 2-7 year old and something happens, and they begin crying so loud? Crying uncontrollably? It's as if someone was trying to kidnap them, yet nothing has happened to them. To the child it feels as if their world is falling apart. Yet most parents feels that ignoring the problem is the solution, but it's not. I have stated what some doctor's have to say about that, after extensive research being done on children crying."
"One study showed infants who experienced persistent crying episodes were 10 times more likely to have ADHD as a child, along with poor school performance and antisocial behavior. The researchers concluded these findings may be due to the lack of responsive attitude of the parents toward their babies." (Wolke, D, et al, Persistent Infant Crying and Hyperactivity Problems in Middle Childhood, Pediatrics, 2002; 109:1054-1060.)
"Dr. Brazy at Duke University and Ludington-Hoe and colleagues at Case Western University showed in 2 separate studies how prolonged crying in infants causes increased blood pressure in the brain, elevates stress hormones, obstructs blood from draining out of the brain, and decreases oxygenation to the brain. They concluded that caregivers should answer cries swiftly, consistently, and comprehensively." (J pediatrics 1988 Brazy, J E. Mar 112 (3): 457-61. Duke University. Ludington-Hoe SM, Case Western U, Neonatal Network 2002 Mar; 21(2): 29-36)
Due to all of these factors and many more, I decided to find a solution to the problem that many parents face.
What is the new technique? Well, reading many books in this field, studying child psychology, and going to many seminars still sometimes doesn't equip you for what real life throws at you. At amazement one day, I told myself I had to figure out how to quiet these kids quickly, and effectively. For I am a stay at home who home schools, and works from home. I couldn't have them crying all day, if I was teaching the other ones, or if I started cleaning. Yet, I don't have the time to sit with each one for 10-15 minutes at a time. That alone took most of my time. That's when I tested and tried my new strategy. I thought if it worked for me, than it could work on anyone. Are you ready?
Basically, anytime a child begins to cry for whatever reason it is:
1. You take a deep breath and then bring them close to you, and then go through these exercises with them. 2. You show them how to take a deep breath. As they take one, take another one, and then another one. I usually take 4-5 deep breaths with them, and then I say ok, now we will do it this way. 3. I start to blow out faster and faster and laugh while I am doing it. They love this part the most. They blow out and smile and laugh with me. It changes their whole mood, and they no longer are crying. 4. Once they have calmed down, then I sit them on my lap and ask them what happened. By this time, their smiling and they have to use a normal tone, not a whining tone to tell me what happened. 5. After they tell me, then I help them figure out what went wrong, and what not to do again, to get that type of reaction. They agree, and it's finally over. I break the pattern they are in, with a whole new pattern, which helps them calm themselves down.
I have used this technique not only on my children, but also my neighbor's children, nieces and nephews. Their ages ranged from 2-7 years old. It has worked every time for me. It just takes some patience, time and practice. You will see eventually the kids will be doing these techniques to other kids they see behaving the way they did. My son and daughter sometimes teach me these techniques if I am sad and crying. It really works for adults as well as children. You just need 30 seconds to implement it, and then they're on their way.
Once you can get your child to learn these new habits, you then teach them that crying and whining doesn't really help them get what they want. If they want something, they need to ask for it kindly, and if it is something the parent thinks the child needs they will get it, if it is not, then they need to understand the parent knows best. The more the parent is able to explain to the child, the better the child understands. Sometimes it takes 10 - 20 times of repetition, but eventually it does soak in. It is also at this time, that I speak to the other child about how they treated this one. If there is two or three of them, then once this child is relaxed, I go over and tell the other ones, what they did was wrong, and that' not how we should treat this situation. I then give them an example of how I would treat this situation. That way they are aware that there is many ways to deal with a situation. I want the kids to put that in their memory banks of their brains, and use it when this situation or another similar one arises.
A few more quotes on why crying is not the right thing for a child to carry on
* "Leaving a baby to cry evokes physiological responses that increase stress hormones. Crying infants experience an increase in heart rate, body temperature and blood pressure. These reactions are likely to result in overheating and, along with vomiting due to extreme distress, could pose a potential risk of SIDS in vulnerable infants. There may also be longer-term emotional effects. There is compelling evidence that increased levels of stress hormones may cause permanent changes in the stress responses of the infant's developing brain. These changes then affect memory, attention, and emotion, and can trigger an elevated response to stress throughout life, including a predisposition to later anxiety and depressive disorders." Pinky McKay
Pinky McKay is the mother of five, an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) and a Certified Infant Massage Instructor.
* English psychotherapist, Sue Gerhardt, author of Why Love Matters: How Affection Shapes a Baby's Brain, " explains that when a baby is upset, the hypothalamus produces cortisol. In normal amounts cortisol is fine, but if a baby is exposed for too long or too often to stressful situations (such as being left to cry) its brain becomes flooded with cortisol and it will then either over- or under-produce cortisol whenever the child is exposed to stress. Too much cortisol is linked to depression and fearfulness; too little to emotional detachment and aggression."
At this time I would like to go into a summary of how all of this works:
* First, take a deep breath your self. * Next, bring the crying child over and teach them how to take deep breaths, tell them to follow you. Take about 4-5 Deep Breaths. * Third, have them blow out back to back for another 10 seconds. By this time, the kid should be laughing out loud with you. * Fourth, now you have broken their pattern of crying into being happy. * Ask what happened, and help them understand.
This is vital to break the pattern. Once the pattern is broken with something better taking its place then it won't be long when, you'll notice they cry less and less. As they age they will realize that crying should be left for something really painful and not every two minutes. As parents and educators we need to teach them to learn there are different styles and ways to do things. We need them to be able to help them calm themselves down, and them to formulate that habit as they grow up. To be confident, and handle any situation that comes at them with a different approach. This approach will lower their stress and build their confidence. The less they cry, and the more they are loved, the more stability these kids will have with their own emotions.
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